If you have a joke, post it under this thread, it keeps the forum from getting cluttered.
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes", whispered Little Johnny.
May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, Little Johnny whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?" Again Little Johnny whispered, "No."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes", whispered Little Johnny, "A policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered Little Johnny.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering Little Johnny.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice Little Johnny answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper!"
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there?"
Still whispering, Little Johnny replied along with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me!"
Yeah it's an old joke. Hey, I like Def Leppard and I'm not ashamed to admit it. My old t-shirts wore away, but I ordered one last year on EBay and still wear it occasionally. Gonna go home and listen to Hysteria now, I want you all to know it
The sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor was not very good at it, and uttered a loud "F***, missed!" each time he missed.
The priest tolerated him for a few minutes and couldn't take it anymore. "Do not swear thus, my friend, or God will punish you."
It didn't make a difference; the sailor continued unabated. One stroke after another, the sailor played badly, and followed up with "F***, missed!"
Again, the priest said, "Do not utter such profanities, or God will show you a sign." It didn't help, and the next stroke missed was followed by a loud "F***, missed!"
A bolt of lightning dropped out of the clouds and struck the priest dead. A voice was heard in the clouds: "F***, missed!"