Joke Thread

[Flockers]

ROFL!

[awwchrist]

Here come the golf jokes:

Bob and Ted brought along their wives for a round of golf. Coming up to the Hole 4, Bob alerted Ted to one of the course's unusal hazards -

"Ted you're going to want to stick to the right of the fairway, if you slice it left there's a barn that could interfere with getting to the green in one shot."

"Gotcha, thanks!" replied Ted.

So Ted steps up and really lays into his drive...and wouldn't you know it ...plops up right behind the barn.

"$%#@&"

Bob pulls out an iron and lays comfertably up to the right of the barn, "Well I warned ya!"

Ted and his wife stroll up to the ball. Ted begins to mutter obscenities while he pulls out a wedge to pitch out back onto the fairway when his wife notices something...

"Honey look! This barn has two big doors on each side..why don't I just open both of them and you might be able to drive right through it!"

Ted thinks it's a fantastic idea, slams his wedge back in the back and hungrily reaches for his 3 wood.. "GREAT THINKING HONEY!"

His wife goes over and opens both sides of the barn, Ted eyes his shot and leans into his drive to keep it low...

*BANG* CLANK* THUNK*

All of a sudden he sees his wife crumple to the ground. His shot had careened off one of the rafters inside the barn and plunked his wife in the head. She now layed there dead...

Some years later Bob, his wife, Ted and his new wife went out golfing. Again they came to the infamous hole. They both tee off and AGAIN Ted lays up right behind the barn!

Bob looks over to Ted and says "Ted...are you going to warn your wife about this hole?"

Ted exclaims "OH YEAH...good idea...Umm...you're going to want to stay to the right on this fairway..I shot a 7 last time."

[Flux]

2 fish are in a tank, one fish turns to the other and says:

"do you know how to drive this thing?"

[fntsyrookie]

A priest and a rabbi are walking through a park when they both notice a couple of little boys playing on the swings.

The priest nudges the rabbi in the shoulder and says "Hey wanna go over there and f*** 'em?"

The rabbi says "F*** outta what?"

[CC]

This joke is kind of cheese but it always makes me laugh.

Two pies are in an oven, one pie goes "Boy it's hot in here" the other pie goes "Holy sh*t! A talking pie!"

[awwchrist]

let's see what kind of crowd this is...

A little boy and a pedophile go into the woods.

The little boy says "mister I'm scared!!"
The pedophile says "You're scared? I'm the one who's gotta walk outta here alone!"

[goleafsgo96]

After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?"

Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really surprised and I replied, "No s**t!"

[cwebb]

*ROFL* screwed by a genie

[Flockers]

LMAO!

[Petey]

A priest and a rabbi are walking through a park when they both notice a couple of little boys playing on the swings.

The priest nudges the rabbi in the shoulder and says "Hey wanna go over there and f*** 'em?"

The rabbi says "F*** outta what?"

I don't get this at all.