OK, Texans fans! Calm down now. I'm here to remind you of the DCS factor which is very useful when making projections for Houston's playoff prospects . In case you may have forgotten....
DAVID CARR SUX!
Still with me? Get your schedule out and take another look.
Let's give Houston the 3 easy games: Cleveland, San Francisco, and maybe at home vs. Tennessee. Now let's look at the rest of the schedule and see if the Texans get any more wins to finish at .500
Week 1: Buffalo on opening day? Losman looks just as bad as Carr right now, but that Bills defense will stuff Domanick Davis' season debut. Dom Capers erupts on team's flight back to Texas
Week 2: Pittsburgh? Next!
Week 3: Bye already? After only 2 games? Rehab from Steeler bruises and contusions will be needed though.
Week 4: Cincinatti....Nope. Bengals win in another blowout!
Week 6: Seattle - National humiliation on ESPN. Joe Theismann caught on camera doing crossword puzzle in 3rd quarter. Cafe member "Mr. Texansfan" still very happy to have Shaun Alexander on his fantasy team, but thinking twice about Andre J.
Week 7: Indianapolis - Over or under? Peyton 3 TD passes
Week 9: Jacksonville - What? I'm not THAT generous. The Jags are too hard and Houston is too soft.
Week 10: Colts ...Peyton Manning again? No, this time Edge goes off at home with 3 TDs, 2 rushing and 1 reception
Week 11: Kansas City - ESPN again? Priest Holmes finishes where Edge left off. 3 TDs on national TV, ESPN executives hastily cross Houston off of 2006 Monday night schedule
Week 12: St. Louis - Upset here? Please? Pretty please? No.
Week 13: Baltimore - "Hi David, my name is Ed Reed. Let's play catch! By the way, have you met my friend Ray?"
Week 14: Tennessee - Sweep the Titans this season? Texans blow one they should have won. Dom Capers loses his lunch too
Week 15: Arizona - A win here? Victory not in the Cards!
Week 16: Jacksonville - Merry Christmas! Texans go on to San Francisco for New Year's Day and finish season with 2 game win streak. Houston finishes 5-11, far short of .500
January 2: Cafe's Texans forum fanatics start predicting 10 wins in 2006 based on something about season end momentum.
January 3: Dom Capers fired. Search is on for Bum Phillips.
Last edited by Confucian Scholars on Thu Dec 08, 2005 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.