Dilemma

[Warpigs]

Before you start reading, this IS about fantasy football. Not sure where to officially post it, but its a crappy situation I'm in that many others have faced in some way or another...

The pride and joy of my fantasy football experience each year is a local 12-team money league that we all get together to draft. This year, we have the added excitement of a 2005 Madden tournament to start the day to choose draft order for the fantasy draft.

Our commish selected a draft day that fell on my wife's father's birthday. I knew my wife would throw a fit (she doesn't think highly of fantasy football), so to alleviate a crappy no-win situation, I talked our commish into moving the draft a day earlier. He got ahold of the other owners and confirmed it all.

Three days ago, my wife and I got a wedding invitation to a mutual friend's wedding. While this friend is moreso my wife's friend than mine, she is a co-worker that I don't mind hanging out with that we've both known for about four years. She had told us originally that the wedding would be in the middle of August, so when we planned our league draft for the last weekend in August, I didn't have a worry in the world. I was pumped, excited and overjoyed that I got to draft a day where I could hang out for the full day, play Madden, drink beer, draft, etc. until whenever.

Of course, the wedding invitation announced the wedding for the same day as our draft. I was pissed. I'm always sacrificing doing things with the guys to instead be with my wife through a series of family reunions, family birthdays, etc. I had the foresight to intervene and have our draft moved off of my father-in-law's B-day. And still, I get hammered with this. I can never win!

As much as I hated to, I e-mailed the commish on Friday and talked with him today. Obviously, the draft can't be moved. Everyone is set, some took off work and others can't do it any other time.

I could probably make the wedding and rush back to the commish's house in time for the draft itself, but I'd miss the Madden tournament, mess up the brackets and screw myself in a draft position. Plus, I'd lose out on the all-day experience and fellowship that can only be experienced at a live draft party.

My wife isn't the keenest about attending events on her own. I know the mutual friend won't be heartbroken if I can't make it, although I'm sure she'll be somewhat disappointed -- however, if I try to talk my wife into this scenario, I know I'm in for a little vacation to hell (we're also pregnant and due in early November, so the mood swings are definitely rampant).

However, with the baby coming, I know there will be ton of things I'll be sacrificing this fall and winter. I don't mind doing that for the baby, but it would be nice to have one last full-day guy event at our draft extravaganza. I'm already turning down an Atlantic City run with some other friends in October.

Anyway, I know other guys here can relate to the "Everybody-Loves-Raymond" type dilemma I'm in. When it comes to fantasy football, many of us have spouses/significant others that are not too forgiving when missing "together time" for a guys day out.

I need help!! This will probably be my biggest fantasy question of the year, sadly.

So should I:
piss off my wife (and disappoint the mutual friend) and go to the draft

piss off my friends and leaguemates and put myself in a fantasy hole by going to the wedding

or pull a Ricky Williams and retire from everything and run to Asia??

HELP!!

[mutantseabass]

Dude explain to oyur wife that you had the draft moved once for her fathers birthday, and you cannot have it moved again. I know that my wife would be so happy that i would do that for her dads birthday she would buy me a case for the draft.

[BGbootha]

I know that my wife would be so happy that i would do that for her dads birthday she would buy me a case for the draft.

I don't think there is anything i could do where my girl woud buy me a case for the draft. My girlfriend has never in our 5 years been real happy with the fantasy football things. But hey thats what she married you for.

If there is one thing that i learned (and maybe its just my friends). But one wife / Girlfriend will be upset for a few days. But you realize if you miss the draft or blow off the madden tourny, you will hear about it on the message board or in person for the next 17 weeks of your life.

But i would probably try to explain to the wifey that you already changed it once, and that you tried but they can't change it again. Bummer.

On a side note, my group of guys that i run a live draft money league have been doing so for 6 years now. Finally figured it out so that we slowly worked the women into becoming somewhat friends with eachother. Now on draft day they go shopping or what ever the hell they do and we get our draft.

But in the end. I am glad i am not in your shoes.

[Buckychudd]

mutantseabass = obviously unmarried

Let's spell this out slowly....

1. Wife dislikes fantasy football (don't they all )
2. Wife is six months pregnant
3. Weddings are obvious couple functions
4. Wife is not keen on attending events by herself

Dude, you're screwed.

I know you already know this, but there is no getting out of the wedding. About the best you can do is try to get out of there as early as possible, and salvage your fantasy team.

[caneblood]

Do the football day. You were nice to have the draft moved for your father-n-laws birthday. You can't just keep moving everything around for your wife - pretty soon she'll think your a push over and will lose all respect for you. I actually think (regardless of their denials) that women want a man who can be flexible but still draws a line because he has a back bone.

If you set a standard of giving up everytime then her requests will only grow (miss ff for dinner with her friends, etc.) By holding firm, next time she'll think twice about whether an event is important enough to ask you to change your schedule (because she knows there is a limit). Next time she may not classify her fathers birthday as important enough (or may just ask you to do a morning breakfast with them).

In any event if you do football - make sure to do something special for her (you don't have to mention that its because of the football decision because that's saying you owe her something). Just take her out that week - the previous night would be ideal. Treat her great and make the whole night about her. Set up the house with some candles and give her a night she'll think about the whole next day at the wedding. Then when she thinks of you at the wedding, she'll smile instead of frown.

[mutantseabass]

Bucky sorry dude been married for 7 years and have 3 kids. My wife doesnt care if i play FF or watch football all day, we have season tickets to the Lions, and Red Wings. I guess i just got lucky.

[moochman]

Do you have the funds to do the Asia thing?
if not I can symphathize. You are in a no win situation. Real life has bled onto the life that you love, but it is real life and lacking the funds you must give it it's due.
Have you been married long and does she love you and not realize what a jerk you are? Good. Now is the time to sacrifice today's comfort for tomorrow's pleasure. Tell her about moving the date to go to her Dad's D-day. Depending on her tolerance and anger levels you may go into details as to how much you had to go through to get this changed. Then tell her that you'll go to blah-blah's wedding but drive seperate cars because you have to make this other engagement. Important to refer to it by anything other than your FF draft as that will induce immediate ire and be counter-productive.
Unfortunately you will have to see if there is another time they can do the Madden thing, not likely, or sacrifice your draft position. You gotta give something to the relationship. Now your wife will think you are a jerk, if she doesn't already know that. You've gat an ace in the hole though, the baby. Pretend to be a great father for 40 or 50 years and she'll forgive you.
As for the friend, she too will think you are a jerk, but that can only work in your favor as the list of events that they will expect you to attend will be reduced greatly. If they don't get FF then who's the jerk anyway?...okay we are, but that's not the point here.
As for me I am one of the luckiest jerks around. My girlfriend is a sports fan and doesn't mind me playing FF. All I had to do was tell her how much more I like it that the porno sites and she leaves me be...after speaking in tongues at loud levels for a few months.

[Daddymike59]

Amen, Mooch.

[Buckychudd]

Bucky sorry dude been married for 7 years and have 3 kids. My wife doesnt care if i play FF or watch football all day, we have season tickets to the Lions, and Red Wings. I guess i just got lucky.

Maybe, but you're telling me that she would go to a mutual friends wedding when she was 6 months pregnant alone. Get all the "so where's mutantseabass?" questions and have to answer "well.....he thought his FF draft was more important"......and feel fine about it???

I'd be skinned and flayed for sure.....

[skip]

use your cellphone at the wedding at get text messaging
i dunno how much that will help, but that will at least allow you to tell them who you want to draft