American National Pride Day
As we all know, some countries consider it a sin for a man to see a naked woman, who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorism effort.
All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove they are not terrorists, demonstrating that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. And, since these countries also do not approve of alcohol, a cold 12-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-terrorism sentiment. America appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!