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Redneck army life......

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Redneck army life......

Postby Homeless » Thu Mar 06, 2003 12:17 pm

Dear Ma & Pa,


Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before may be all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men gots to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings, like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors & Colonels ride around & frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting back at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is to lay there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers get into this setup & come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,


Gail :-o
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Postby Indy Dragons » Fri Mar 07, 2003 6:58 am

This letter could have been written by, Eli May Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies), before they moved to California.


I liked it.
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Postby hayesb26 » Fri Mar 07, 2003 6:59 am

haha indy!
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Postby slowkidz » Fri Mar 07, 2003 8:52 am

LOL! Gotta luv dem country girlz!!! :-B
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Postby kashikis » Fri Mar 07, 2003 11:05 am

dem some baccy chewin, overall wearin, mean tough women down der in da country (insert chew spittin sound here)
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What the hell.... is goin' on.... in the NFL?!
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Postby slowkidz » Fri Mar 07, 2003 11:43 am

kashikis wrote: (insert chew spittin sound here)


.....ssspitoooooiiieeeeee...................................DING! ;-D
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Postby SiouxCitySavages » Fri Mar 07, 2003 12:54 pm

sounds like she is from cleveland
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Postby cwebb » Sat Mar 08, 2003 5:30 am

This is great! :-)
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Postby JayM09 » Sat Mar 08, 2003 9:43 am

SiouxCitySavages wrote:sounds like she is from cleveland



hahahahahah, good sioux ;-D
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Postby slowkidz » Sun Mar 09, 2003 9:08 am

SiouxCitySavages wrote:sounds like she is from cleveland


aw...thats not nice...and I've never once made fun of your yellow back trailer park trash roadkill cookin slap monkey pittsburgh-ians....so why you gotta go and do that suzie...man.... :-D
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