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Zen Thoughts

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Zen Thoughts

Postby slowkidz » Thu Mar 13, 2003 11:14 am

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on the butt... then things get worse.

26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
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Postby VIPER » Thu Mar 13, 2003 11:27 am

Good post Slow........There is a fine line between "hobby"

and "mental illness."........I wonder if they are talking about

F.F.???? :-o 8-o
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Postby Guttpuppy » Thu Mar 13, 2003 11:32 am

Good one VIPE,I think another one of these could be related to FF...

Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
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Postby fntsyrookie » Thu Mar 13, 2003 11:38 am

Some good stuff Slow. :-)
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Postby Homeless » Thu Mar 13, 2003 12:35 pm

LOL number 12 ! thats me to a T
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Postby Indy Dragons » Thu Mar 13, 2003 12:43 pm

LMAO!!!

Pretty good stuff!!
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Postby JayM09 » Thu Mar 13, 2003 3:36 pm

nice post slow ;-D
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Postby terpfan » Thu Mar 13, 2003 3:50 pm

haha number 26 could be turned into a terrible, awful joke... :-D
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Postby Slingblade » Thu Mar 13, 2003 4:44 pm

lol...nice one ;-D
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Postby cwebb » Fri Mar 14, 2003 2:49 pm

:-)

#12 is absolutely great! I love fishing!
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