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Performance Evaluations

Postby ScreamingWeasel » Sat Apr 12, 2003 4:38 pm

PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS

The following individual "quotes" have been collected from actual employee performance evaluations throughout the U.S.

QUOTE:

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and is currently continuing to dig.

His men would follow him anywhere - but only out of curiosity.

Works well - when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat.

This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

This employee is depriving some village somewhere of their idiot.

A gross ignoramus - that's 144 time worse than a regular ignoramus.

Personally, I would not allow this employee to breed.

When she opens her mouth, it's only to change feet.

He would be out of his depth in a puddle in the employee parking lot.

Sets low personal standards, then consistently fails to achieve them.

He's got a full 6-pack - but lacks the plastic thing that holds them all together.

He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.

He doesn't have ulcers. But he is a carrier.

He has a knack for making strangers immediately.

He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

When her IQ reaches 50 - she should sell.

You see two people talking? And one looks bored? He's the other one.

A photographic memory. But with the lens cap glued on.

I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

Obviously donated his brain to science. Before he was through with it.

Gates are down. The lights are flashing. But the train ain't coming.

He has two brains. One is lost and the other is out looking for it.

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

If you gave this employee a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.

If you stand real close to his ear, you can hear the ocean.

Proof positive for Natural De-Selection.

Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Apparently builds model airplanes and has spent time around glue.

Some do drink from the Fountain of Knowledge. He gargled.

The wheel is turning, but the hampster is dead.
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Postby Homeless » Sat Apr 12, 2003 5:20 pm

"If you gave this employee a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change."

Haha ! nice post weasel ;-D
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Postby Indy Dragons » Sat Apr 12, 2003 5:46 pm

We actually have this one, hanging up at work.


Good one though!
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Postby VIPER » Sat Apr 12, 2003 6:51 pm

lol. good one. :-b
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Postby Slingblade » Sun Apr 13, 2003 11:48 am

lol ;-D
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Postby terpfan » Sun Apr 13, 2003 12:15 pm

"When her IQ reaches 50 - she should sell."

"The wheel is turning, but the hampster is dead."

hahahaha :-D
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Postby fntsyrookie » Mon Apr 14, 2003 8:22 am

LOL!! Nice post. :-)
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Postby kashikis » Mon Apr 14, 2003 8:55 am

funnt stuff wease! love it LOL ;-D
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What the hell.... is goin' on.... in the NFL?!
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Postby Dazedncnfz » Mon Apr 14, 2003 10:59 am

Sets low personal standards, then consistently fails to achieve them.
lmao!..nice post
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T.S. - "You don't have to love me, but you will [b]RESPECT[/b] me"
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Postby Roseman » Mon Apr 14, 2003 1:40 pm

All of those must have come from the company I work for because a lot of those quotes sound like some of my coworkers and subordinates.


You see two people talking? And one looks bored? He's the other one.

I have a guy that works for me that this fits perfectly!!

and this one applies to a girl that works in our marketing dept.

Obviously donated her brain to science. Before she was through with it.
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