Miami - Goddamit not only an eyesore on the field, regardless of which 349 uniform variations they exploit, but obviously ranked #73 in the Miami top 100 things to do. I DARE you to sell out a game! I DARE YOU! The best Defense and best running game in the league and you can't even make it into the playoffs? BWAHAHAHAHA!
Buffalo - what in the hell are you doing? How many damn yards does Travis Henry need to put down for you not to squander your 1st rd. pick. LAMENT T.Thomas! I'll bet 100 bucks you rejects still play tecmobowl cause that's the last time Buffalo was actually GOOD.
Bengals - As easy as it is to pick on you yahoos, let me say this one thing:
your franchise needs to be kept away from college QBs like perverted molesters are kept away from 4 year olds. *Knock Knock* "Hi, I'm The Cincinnati Bengals. As part of a court ordered sentence, I'm here to inform you that I've moved into your neighborhood. I'm on 24 hour house restriction.." you get the idea.
Titans - If I lived in Nashville I'd be dead. This has to be the most boring professional football team I've ever seen. And don't gimme %@%^ about "Oh well we win though!" What exactly HAVE you won?
Colts - You know, you cant play offense ALL the time. It's called DEFENSE you morons!
Jaguars - You're on life support. I pray to god someone comes over and pulls the plug. Between The Dolphins and the Jags, you give good people great reasons to move to a 3rd world nation.
Texans - You don't even count yet. Screw you for beating the Cowboys. You actually made me think you might be a 6 and 10 team for about 2 hours.
Raiders - What isn't there to say? I'd rather be romanced for 5 hours with a 20lbs sledgehammer than root for the Raiders. Seriously. If my son becomes a Raiders fan I'm parking his ass on Al Davis' doorstep and never looking back.
Denver - I laughed when Elway retired. As a matter of fact, when I was in Denver last, I went completely out of my way to drive into one of his chain auto deaperships just to spit on the ground. Hows it feel to know your best player is your kicker?
Philly - It's too bad McNabb is an Eagle. I truly love watching that guy. But your fans are by far the most atrocious representatives of humanity I've ever seen at a professional sporting event. The fact that you have a court house at the stadium tells me you've got issues. By the way, if you dont get a real running back soon, you're gonna kill McNabb. Just a heads up.
Giants - Shockey has given most of us another great reason not to watch your tired asses run on out to the field. You guys might wanna dig up Hoffa...I think you could do better with him as the long snapper.
Arizona - The cardinals lead the league in visiting fan attendance. Its the only franchise that has more fans wearing the OPPOSING team's jersey, than their own. Hell, I've seen more attendance at this movie
on a wednesday. And Cuba's a better WR than Bryant Johnson btw.