How Do You Fix A Woman's Watch? - Fantasy Football Cafe 2014 Fantasy Football Cafe


Return to General Talk

How Do You Fix A Woman's Watch?

Moderator: Football Moderators

How Do You Fix A Woman's Watch?

Postby ScreamingWeasel » Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:01 am

:-)

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None -- It should be opened by the time she brings it.
-------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably
never be able to support you.
-------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say Something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course.
He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
-------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food
that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------
Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
-------------------------------
Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
-------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
-------------------------------
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
-------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
"Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing: "You can have mine."
-------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once.
-------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
beautiful.
Image
ScreamingWeasel
Head Coach
Head Coach

User avatar
Cafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterLucky Ladders ChampionPick 3 Weekly Winner
Posts: 2073
Joined: 24 Jan 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: NashTN

Postby cwebb » Wed Jun 04, 2003 6:14 am

Those are great, gotta tell 'em to my friends at today's poolparty! ;-D *splish* *splash*
cwebb
Bouncer
Bouncer

User avatar
Cafe WriterMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeWeb SupporterPick 3 Weekly WinnerSweet 16 Survivor
Posts: 1815
Joined: 4 Jan 2002
Home Cafe: Football
Location: The Huddle

Postby fntsyrookie » Wed Jun 04, 2003 7:55 am

Some of those are pretty funny. Nice Weazey.
Image
fntsyrookie
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar
Innovative MemberPick 3 Weekly Winner
Posts: 2576
Joined: 8 Oct 2002
Home Cafe: Football

Postby slowkidz » Wed Jun 04, 2003 8:24 am

Some new one's I haven't heard!! Great Weezy!!! LOL ;-D
Image
slowkidz
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeInnovative MemberCafe MusketeerPick 3 Champion
Posts: 7286
Joined: 19 Aug 2002
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Beatin the Steers in C-bus!!

Postby Dazedncnfz » Wed Jun 04, 2003 8:30 am

funny stuff!! :-D
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course.
He'll shut up once you let him in.


and thats why dogs are "mans best friend"!
Image

T.S. - "You don't have to love me, but you will [b]RESPECT[/b] me"
Dazedncnfz
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe MusketeerWeb SupporterPick 3 Weekly WinnerSweet 16 SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 5783
Joined: 6 Nov 2002
Home Cafe: Football
Location: The Bada Bing

Postby Homeless » Wed Jun 04, 2003 12:22 pm

LOL !!

I liked the Dog barking one too ;-D
Image
Image
Homeless
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeInnovative MemberCafe MusketeerWeb SupporterPick 3 Weekly WinnerSweet 16 SurvivorCafe Blackjack Weekly Winner
Posts: 10011
Joined: 21 Aug 2002
Home Cafe: Football
Location: I could be anywhere! and so could my SILK scarf! M&M's anyone ?

Re: How Do You Fix A Woman's Watch?

Postby DieHardCubbie » Wed Jun 04, 2003 12:29 pm

ScreamingWeasel wrote::-)

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None -- It should be opened by the time she brings it.
-------------------------------



Preach on Brother Weezy, I'll give an AMEN!

LOL! ;-D
DieHardCubbie
Special Teams Staff
Special Teams Staff

User avatar

Posts: 216
Joined: 13 Feb 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: floating around on the 3rd rock

Postby DUKE » Wed Jun 04, 2003 1:19 pm

;-D some nice material in there Weasel.
DUKE
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar
Cafe RankerInnovative Member
Posts: 3173
Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Home Cafe: Football


Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Start & Sit Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Get Ready...
The 2014 NFL season kicks off in 4:26 hours
(and 39 days)
2014 NFL Schedule


  • Fantasy Football
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact