You Always Have to Read the Ads

[slowkidz]

Strange excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale

3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition

[Homeless]

Great Dames for sale.

Like the sound of that one.

[Dazedncnfz]

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children

sounds like my old rottie!

[DieHardCubbie]

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Rosey...need to buy a desk for anyone

Funny Slow

[Roseman]

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Rosey...need to buy a desk for anyone

Funny Slow

I could make a great mom joke here but I think I will pass because I am a gentleman at heart!!!