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Warning Labels

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Warning Labels

Postby slowkidz » Mon Jul 14, 2003 11:33 am

What really gets me is that some people need to be warned about some of these things... :-o

The human race is doomed...

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Postby ScreamingWeasel » Mon Jul 14, 2003 12:06 pm

My Top 3:

#3: On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."

#2: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

And ... #1: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(The Swedish chainsaw didn't make it. Simply because I refuse to believe it!!!) LOL.
Good one, Slow. ;-D
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Postby Roseman » Mon Jul 14, 2003 12:45 pm

I have heard of people trying to stop a chainsaw with there hand with the obvious result but your gentials? This is happenning I say if someone is trying to do this let them it just makes the gene pool that much richer

NATURAL SELECTION!!!!!!!
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Postby ScreamingWeasel » Mon Jul 14, 2003 1:16 pm

Musta been something in the translation from Swedish!

(Ever got one of those printed in Japan? "Play tab A unto shot B as sheen in digram." You know?)
Last edited by ScreamingWeasel on Mon Jul 14, 2003 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Homeless » Mon Jul 14, 2003 3:40 pm

LOL Crazy world.
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Mon Jul 14, 2003 6:37 pm

Roseman wrote:I have heard of people trying to stop a chainsaw with there hand with the obvious result but your gentials? This is happenning I say if someone is trying to do this let them it just makes the gene pool that much richer

NATURAL SELECTION!!!!!!!


damn right!!!!....
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Postby terpfan » Mon Jul 14, 2003 10:11 pm

hahahahaha
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Postby joshparrish » Tue Jul 15, 2003 1:02 am

on the front tire of one of my wheelbarrows it says:


"Not for highway use"
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Postby kashikis » Tue Jul 15, 2003 6:55 am

lol john parrish thats a good one too! and welcome to the cafe!

these are hilarious and the chainsaw one has me a bit confused.

in similar news one of the greatest darwin awards ever was the man who wanted the gunpowder out of a grenade, so he decided to use a chainsaw to "open" the grenade. after remembering that i guess the chainsaw one doesnt seem as far fetched! :-o
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What the hell.... is goin' on.... in the NFL?!
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Postby joshparrish » Tue Jul 15, 2003 11:19 am

......not again.......

Its Josh.......not John...... !+)

dont worry....its has happered before:

http://www.fantasybaseballcafe.com/foru ... php?t=7600
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